All my posts lately have seemed slightly depressed. But don’t worry, I’m not completely batty yet. Can you believe that I’m feeling a tad bit optimistic? Don’t worry, I haven’t lost all my cynicism ( feel free to substitute sarcasm). Even with yoga and a sunny disposition, there are still people (and things) that drive me bonkers. Frankly, I’m not pessimistic but a realist who has the uncanny ability to analyze things to death. God knows how I’ve driven myself crazy (and so does anyone who reads my blog) with over analyzing myself and every little bit of food that I put into my mouth. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m not lying in a corner and whimpering from all the self abuse. I guess I’m stronger than I thought.
Just the other day, I baked cookies because I decided that if I wanted sweets, I had to make them myself. Keebler Vienna Fingers are actually vegan (which is bad for me to know) but I forced myself to bake so I could hopefully talk myself out of a binge while I was baking. Luckily I had all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies. Many of the recipes that I found online were your basic vegan chocolate cookie (using ener-g egg replacer and earth balance). Not that I mind either ingredient but I’m trying to limit my intake of processed foods. Only one super processed ingredient per recipe, please. Personally, I think that reducing the processed crap in my diet will really help me feel better and reduce my binges. Quitting diet coke, however, will prove to a be trickier challenge. Reading through recipes always keeps me entertained (fortunately) and I read through a 1000 couple recipes until I found an oatmeal chocolate cookie recipe. So I spent about an hour or so baking cookies that made my apartment smell delicious. Though I found as the time passed (and I spent a decent amount of time washing dishes) that I didn’t really want to eat a ton of cookies. Usually when I delay binge, I still want to binge but the therapy of baking cookies had alleviated my need to binge. Victoriously, I only ate one cookie and enjoyed it with a huge glass of water. While enjoying my one cookie, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Xanax can be found in the form of only eat one cookie. Yes, I am super impressed by the fact that I only eat one cookie. Zealously, I froze the remainder of the cookies and went to bed feeling 100% satisfied.
