I knew today would be one of those days from the minute my alarm started going off around 7:30am. And you might wonder “How are you always late Sarah? You don’t have to be at work till 2pm. You have all the time in the world.”
Maybe it’s my ADD or blondness but I’m very prone to distraction especially when I have a bajillion craft projects, pictures to hang, and Netflix. But I believe that my tardiness began earlier this morning when I finally got off work. Let’s recap:
12am: Finally get off work. Thank god, now I can go home and sleep.
12:30am: Too wound up to fall asleep. Decide to make lunch and dinner for work tomorrow.
12:45am: Still wide awake. Hmm, let’s see what’s on Netflix.
12:46am: Oooh, Numb3rs, David Krumholtz is nerdy hott.
2:15am: I should really go to bed.
2:16pm: Fall asleep with makeup on and contacts in, still in dress from work.
7:30am: Alarm starts ringing. I should really get up.
8:30am: Ugh why won’t my cat stop licking my face. Damn, now he’s smacking me. Devil cat.
9:30am: Finally drag myself out of bed. Look in the mirror and resolve to always remove that day’s makeup before bed as to not look like:
My roots do not look that bad…just kidding, I need to get to the salon ASAP!
9:35am: Feed cat. Now that I’m no use to him, he chooses to ignore me while I proceed to make egg white oats for breakfast.
9:45am: Scald tongue trying to eat too hot oats. Run to the kitchen for a diet coke and remember I promised Bob Greene I wouldn’t drink any Diet Coke or booze for a month. I should drink water.
9:45am: Water’s lame. Make coffee instead. Hmm, wonder what’s going on in Tweet world.
10:15am: I should really workout. Or take a nap. No, Sarah, go to the damn gym. You only have to walk down to the basement (Yes I do talk to myself. You’re only crazy if you answer yourself).
10:20pm: My stupid ipod shuffle is dead. And my ipod is broken. Thank god I brought a magazine or else I’d be justified in taking a nap. Start 35 min. HITT workout on elliptical (resistance 6 for 2 min., resistance 20 for 1 min. repeat 10 times, 5 min. cooldown).
10:55am: Finish workout. Almost fall off the elliptical because legs are sore from too much Jillian Michaels (from the previous days).
11:05am: To shave or not to shave….hmmm….I’m blonde and lazy. Not to shave!
11:06am: This stupid loofah takes forever to rinse out.
11:10am: I still have makeup on my face. Break out the extra strength makeup remove, wash face again, and moisturize.
11:15am: I should try to fix my ipod.
11:18pm: I should take a picture of my empty bottle of Vitamin Water Zero for the blog.
11:30: Ipod restore #300000000000. Maybe I should do some laundry. Who cares if will be finish at the same time I need to leave for work.
11:40: Stupid ipod is still being restored. Do not accidently click Chinese for language….DAMN. Restore ipod again: select English this time.
11:50pm: There has to be a better way to fix this problem. Google. Download three different softwares promising to fix ipod.
12:00pm: ooh House Hunters!
12:23pm: Pick [House] 3 my lord!!
12:28pm: They picked that house!?!? Idiots.
12:29pm: I should really clean my apartment. Or hang up those pictures that have been on my coffee table for two weeks.
12:30pm: Another episode of House Hunters!
12:31pm: I’ll hang pictures on commercial breaks.
12:38pm: Where is my toolbox? I need my hammer and some nails.
12:39pm: Why do the nails keep getting bent?
12:40pm: House Hunters is back on.
12:48: Give up on nails. Will buy better nails tomorrow.
12:50: That house is ugly and expensive. Why is my cat in my blinds?
12:57pm: They bought the ugly and expensive house!?!? What is wrong with these people? Obviously they need to consult me before spending $600K.
1:00pm: Why is my stupid ipod still NOT working?
1:07pm: Maybe I should put on some makeup for work (note to self: take off tonight before bed).
1:10pm: Why can I not find chapstick anywhere? Okay, stop at Walgreens before going to work.
1:12pm: I really hope I haven’t worn this dress already this week.
1:14pm: Accessories: my favorite part.
1:15pm: Where is that silver bangle from my dad? Why can’t I ever find anything in my apartment?
1:20pm: Stupid ipod still isn’t working.
1:25pm: Grab laundry, dump into basket, put on couch to be folder sometime in the next week.
1:27pm: Grab lunch, purse, and keys. Run to car.
1:28pm: Black leather is super hot in the freaking summer. Oooops, my seat warmer is on.
1:30pm: Run into Walgreens. Head straight towards drinks. No VitaWater Zero?!? Decide chemicals in Sugar Free Redbull don’t count (take that Bob Greene). Walk over to cosmetics.
I might look like that after too much Red Bull…
1:31pm: DO NOT get distracted by nail polish.
1:32pm: Oooh neon yellow nail polish. Damn Sarah FOCUS!
1:33pm: Grab first tube of Burt’s Bees chap stick. Run to cashier. Pay for chapstick, Red Bull, and nail polish.
1:34pm: Get back in car. Start drive to work.
1:42pm: If I have to pass you on the right, you’re going too slow in the left lane!!
1:43pm: God, please don’t let there be any cops. I don’t want another ticket.
1:50pm: Why does badging in at the gate take forever?
1:51pm: Stupid 15 mph speed limit with cops everywhere.
1:58pm: Park! Run into building.
2:00pm: Plop into chair. Betcha thought I wouldn’t make it!
See how easy it is for me to be late for work. What would you have done?