May 21, 2012

Art, Yogis, and Snuggles

Surprisingly, I’ve been forcing myself to stay fairly actively (can’t binge/feel sorry for myself if I’m out and about) so on my free Fridays, I’ve been playing tourist in Washington DC.  This past Friday, I decided to walk to the National Gallery of Art for an afternoon of culture and art appreciation.  Unfortunately, due to my desire for sleep, I didn’t get to the museum until 3pm so I only managed to explore the west building (the museum closes at 5pm).  I won’t share all of the thousands of photos that I took but I wanted to share a few of my favorites.

A Girl With a Flower In Her Hair by Pietro Rotari

She looks sassy, doesn’t she?  Lots of attitude for an 18th century woman.

Ginevra de’ Benci by Leonardo da Vinci

I only included this painting because it’s the only da Vinci on public display in the US.  Frankly, I’ve seen the Mona Lisa and I personally have been underwhelmed by all the da Vinci paintings that I’ve seen.  I kinda think he’s overrated (and somewhere thousands of art enthusiasts are ready to disagree).

Boulevard des Italiens by Camille Pissarro

 Repose by John Singer Sargent

A woman collapsing on the couch from exhaustion…story of my life.

After an afternoon of art and walking, I returned home to soak my feet and go to bed.  Saturday I woke up early to enjoy a nice walk to Chix DC to meet my friend V. for lunch.  If you are ever in DC and want a healthy lunch, I highly recommend that you check out  Chix DC .  I ordered the Chix trio salad:

green salad with balsamic vinegerette, chickpea & pepper salad, and black bean hummus with whole wheat pita

My friend V. ordered a wrap (I think the veggie delux wrap) which was largest enough to feed three people.

After our delicious lunch, we walked the 2+ miles to the Washington Monument to participate in yoga on the Mall for DC Yoga week.

There is a stage on which several teachers from different studios led the group in an 1.5hr long yoga practice.

I really enjoyed having all the different instructors leading the practice.  Each one had his/her own style of teaching which kept the practice entertaining plus live music.  I’m not going to lie: doing yoga outside on a hill is difficult.  But it felt amazing to come together with a large group of fellow yogis in a symbol of peace and love in Washington DC.  With the past decade of war, DC has come to symbolize violence and death but I hope that tourists seeing such a large group of yogis expressing the desire for compassion will realize that not all Washingtonians (and Americans) only stand for violence.  My intention for each practice is always acceptance and I hope that desire for acceptance extends beyond acceptance of myself but to all living creatures.

In my quest for acceptance, I wore a tank top and did downward dog in public.  Though having a large chest makes breathing during uttanasana (forward fold) more of a challenge.

Unfortunately in my zeal for Chix DC and yoga on the mall, I ended up forgetting to wear sunscreen therefore I got sunburned on my face and arms.  Because I’m cranky when I’m burned (and about 99% sure that I will have skin cancer someday) I spent Sunday hiding at my parents house working on my beading.  But I did have some awesome company:

My parent’s dog Winston

He’s pretty adorable and snuggled close to me while I sat on the couch and beaded.  Can’t beat puppy snuggles…well I wouldn’t object to Alexander Skarsgard snuggles.

How was your weekend?  Any exciting plans for Memorial Day weekend?

Posted in Musing, Random Food, Workout | 6 Comments »

May 14, 2012

On The Yoga Mat

Hey fellow Washingtonians…did you know it’s DC Yoga week?  All week different yoga studios in the DC area are offering free and $5 classes.  And then on Saturday May 19th all yogis are to meet on the Mall to participate in a huge yoga class.

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How cool is doing yoga in front of the Washington Monument!?

I definitely plan on attending.  So if you live in the DC area and want to join, shoot me an email and maybe we can all meet up to do yoga.  In honor of DC yoga week, I decided to do a short yoga workout after my elliptical session (seriously an episode of Psych on my iPad keeps me entertained).  Unfortunately, I haven’t found a good yoga video (so if you have a suggestion, let me know) but I know of a fantastic podcast/website called Yoga Download.

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I haven’t used the website but I’ve used the podcasts.  If you use iTunes, just search for Yoga Download.  There are over 50 yoga podcasts ranging from sun salutations to yoga for runners.  Each session contains a vocal podcast with an instructor leading the class and a pose guide to help you (in case you don’t remember the names of all the poses like me).

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I decided to do number 4: Yoga Detox #1 mainly because I am still feeling sick and I have been less than stellar about my body image today.  Even though the workout was only 20 minutes, I felt that I had sweated out all of the negativity that had been stored inside of me.  I don’t do yoga just because it’s good for my body, I do yoga because it’s good for my soul.  It took me a long time to establish a regular practice and I am becoming a stronger, more grounded, and less judgmental person.  When practicing yoga, you connect your body and mind.  You learn to love and appreciate everything your body can do and accept the things that it can not.  As I said in previous posts, I don’t have my former strength (or idealized buff body) but yoga is for everyone of all levels.  And the more I practice, the stronger I become both mentally and physically.  I highly recommend developing your own yoga practice and hopefully I’ll see you on Saturday!

 Yoga is really trying to liberate us from … shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing — I think the health of your mind depends on your being able to love your body.

~Rodney Yee

Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

May 13, 2012

Food, Embassies,. And Random Things

Despite the fact that I’ve been sick with no appetite (I lived on Dayquil and throat lozenges for almost a week), I’ve managed to keep myself busy over the past couple of days. I learned that sparkly sandals despite the cuteness factor do not make good walking shoes (especially if you walk over 20 miles in three day):

On Thursday night I had the lovely pleasure of eating dinner at Busboys and Poets with one of my good friends before listening to talk given by author Victoria Moran.   As I had little appetite, I only ordered a Greek salad (romaine, peppers, olives, tomatoes, onion, balsamic vinegar, portabella), I managed to eat all the olives:

My friend ordered the falafel sandwich with sweet potato fries (which she enjoyed immensely):

After dinner, we went into a side room with a stage for Victoria Moran’s talk about her new book “Main Street Vegan“.  Ms. Moran has been a vegan for almost thirty years and her daughter, Adair, (who helped write the book) has been a vegan for entire life.  She writes about veganism as a lifestyle as opposed a vegan diet.  Each chapter ends with a delicious vegan recipe inspired by classic animal based foods that doesn’t require weird ingredients.  Ms. Moran spoke about her journey to veganism, her struggle with binge eating, and how veganism is becoming more main street.  After her talk, Ms. Moran signed my book (and gave me a few tips how she beat binge eating):

I was so inspired by her talk that I’ve decided to return a vegan lifestyle.  I spent a year as a vegetarian then vegan during my struggle with anorexia.  I used veganism/vegetarianism to avoid eating food that I thought would make me fat.  This time I’m embracing the entire vegan lifestyle.  Ms. Moran discussed her experience at a slaughter house and growing up in Kansas City which is one of the steak capitals of the country.  I’m not going to lie, I was pretty horrified by what I heard and what I read in her book.  I realized that I couldn’t contribute to inhumane treatment of innocent animals whose death (and abuse) do not benefit mankind.

“Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace.”
—Albert Schweitzer, French philosopher, physician, and musician (Nobel 1952)

Now I’m not going to preach, so if you want talk more, feel free to shoot me an email.

On Saturday, I woke up early (not a problem since I spent all day walking on Friday and fell asleep around 9:00pm) to take a yoga class at Tranquil Space (I reviewed Tranquil Space in an earlier blog post-if you live in the DC area, I highly recommend taking a class or workshop at Tranquil Space).  There were only four people in the class, so the instructor was able help us with all the positions.  I’m not going to lie: I struggled this class mainly because doing yoga when you are plus sized is more difficult than when you are 100lbs.  I felt every part of my body during my practice and I had to fight the urge to feel completely self-conscious.  However, I am determined to keep practicing yoga because I will get stronger and I will accept my body at this moment, right now.  After yoga, I met my friend V. for a quick lunch at Agora.  As I still had zero appetite (and you’re not supposed to eat right after yoga), I ordered the hummus (the little I ate tasted fine) but mainly drank lots of water.

Am I the only one who hates olive oil drizzled on top of hummus?

After lunch, V. and I decided to check out Passport DC: DC embassies open their doors for locals to come visit the embassies and learn about their respective countries.  Many embassies provide brochures about their countries, serve native food and drinks, and dancers performing traditional dances in traditional costume.

Cyprus

Ireland

Latvia

 I wish we had gotten there earlier and seen more embassies but I really enjoyed all the new cultural experiences.  I think it’s so easy to get caught up in our day to day lives that we don’t think about the other cultures and experiences around the world.  I am planning to arrive nice early next year, so I can learn about even more countries and their respective culture(s).

And in honor of mother’s day, here is a picture of me and my mother from a couple of years ago when we were visiting my grandparents who live on a lake in Michigan:

Happy Mother’s Day!! I love you lots :)

Posted in Musing, Random Food | 11 Comments »

May 10, 2012

Judgement Wars

Maybe I’m crazy but whenever I read an article about the obesity epidemic, I feel like I’m solely responsible for the American obesity problem (even though I link them on my blog).  I feel the need to go around and apologize for causing a trillion dollar increase in healthcare and promise that this time, I will actually lose the weight (not lose 12lbs and binge it back on).  As a fat person, I perpetually feel the need to apologize for being fat and a detriment to society.  I feel so quilty it makes me sick to my stomach so I spend two days surviving on water and throat lozenges, contemplate Medifast and if purchasing phentermine online would be a bad idea (which please please please don’t do: it’s illegal and very dangerous to your health).

Even though I’ve blogged about body judgement being all in my head, this Glamour article proves me wrong.  We all judge other women for being fat, thin, healthy, etc.    Fat women are lazy, dependable, sloths and skinny women are snobby bitches who never eat (and apparantly I’ve been both of those in the past year and a half…though I don’t think I ever lost the bitch).  We all have preconcieved notions about other women based solely on weight (this doesn’t even take into account blonde vs. brunette vs. ginger).  What I find interesting about this article is the information about judgement towards skinny women.  Most articles of this nature focus solely on the judgement of overweight women but this article addresses judgements on both sides.

And may I be frank (am I ever not), more people commented about my weight when I was underweight than when I am overweight.  But guess what, I’d rather have ten people call me too thin than one person call me fat.  I feel bad for the skinny people who are teased (trust me, my dad and brothers called me skeletor for two years) but frankly, it’s much easier as a thinner woman.  Most of the time when people make comments towards thinner women, it’s out of jealously which is easily rationalized and ignored.  When people make comments about you being overweight, it’s done from a place of disgust and anger about the billions of dollars of healthcare that’s solving all the problems of the obese people (ya know besides making them skinny) and non of the skinny people’s problems.  When people called me too skinny, anorexic (which I was), or told me I needed to eat a sandwich, I could easily laugh them off without any damage to my self esteem (inner dialogue: bitches be jealous).  However if someone even hints that I’m fat,open the flood gates because the tears are about to explode out my eyes and I feel like a horrible and disgusting person.

Now, don’t get me wrong, judgement is always wrong.  But we’re humans: we’re designed to be judgemental.  However, we don’t have to vocalize those judgements.  We can keep those thoughts to ourselves and try to treat everybody with respect regardless of their body weight.  You never know anyone’s story (like how I’ve been underweight and overweight in the past year and a half) or  the reason behind their weight issues.  I’m not stating that we should just laugh off the obesity epidemic but I am saying that maybe if we start treat everyone with a little compassion, our world might become a better place.

 

*Note: please excuse my poor language, this post is being fueled by dayquil and throat lozenges…

**Note2: those are pictures of me, so I’m not insulting anyone but myself…story of my life!

Posted in Musing | 3 Comments »

May 8, 2012

Musings Around The Internet

I’m working 4am-2pm this week (so my brain is a little frazzled) and I’m not smart enough to string together more than a few sentences.  But I’ve had some down time and I’ve discovered some interesting healthy living links (that I thought I’d share):

  • By 2030, it is estimated that 42% of American adults will be obese.  On a positive note, obesity growth rates have declined and I went to the gym for the first time in a month.
  • Has the Obama administration done enough to fight the obesity epidemic?  Frankly, I think the First Lady has done a fantastic job with her Let’s Move program and her numerous appearances/speeches about nutrition education for young kids.  However, I do believe it’s the massive food industry and agribusiness that is shoving crap food products down our throats.  Frankly, the majority of Americans are on some kind of diet, yet we are still the fattest country with the most processed foods…obviously there is a correlation.


Happy reading!!

Posted in Musing | 5 Comments »

May 7, 2012

The Unwelcomed Fat Day

Every once in a while, we women experience an unique phenomenon called a “fat day”.  Basically we wake up, look in the mirror, and realize that we gained ten pounds over night.  None of your clothes fit (except your sweatpants which you can’t wear to work), your hair is frizzy, and the zit on your chin is the size of Texas.  You’re cranky and dread looking in the mirror.  On fat days, everything goes wrong: you run into your ex, the dog ate your homework, you trip and fall down the stairs, etc.  You’re in a bad mood and act like a b*tch to anyone who dares cross your path and your significant other/friend/co-worker makes some joke about you being crazy (to which you respond “You haven’t seen crazy“).  Ideally, you’d stay home, hidden away from the world like Mr. Rochester’s crazy wife (if you don’t recognize the reference, please get yourself to a bookstore/library and get Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte) but you have to go earn that paycheck, degree, etc.  Nothing can make you crankier than a fat day.

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It seems so absurd that feeling fat can make our lives miserable.  Yet fat is the dreaded three letter word that can condemn you to the deepest corners of hell.  Call me a b*tch, crazy, whore, stupid, ugly but fat can knock me off my feet and leave me sobbing in a corner.  And our fat days are completely mentally derived as we feel bloated or self concious and thus label ourselves as fat (plus a string of other not too pleasant adjectives).  As the self proclaimed “I’m having a fat day” Queen, I’ve developed a few tricks to help get me out of my mind (that’s screaming “you’re so fat”) and back to my life (where no one would scream that at me).

1.  Back away from the mirror: I have many mirrors in my apartment and most days I check to make sure my makeup looks natural, I don’t have a panty line, and my hair isn’t a complete rat’s nest.  However on fat days, I can stand in front of the mirror and obsess about every blemish and fault on my body.  I become completely overwhelmed by the stream of insults that I’m hurling at myself that I end up doing something equally bad: bingeing or overplucking my eyebrows.  If I back away from the mirror, I’m not getting distracted by my looks and I can forget all the dark undereye circles and fat rolls that depress me.

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2. Have a big glass of water: If your pants are little tighter today than yesterday, you probably are just bloated.  Drinking a huge glass of water will help flush out your system and make you feel better.  Water is a fantastic remedy for multiple ailments.

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3. Wear comfortable clothing: If you wear tight clothing, you’ll feel uncomfortable all day.  You’ll begin to really believe that you are too fat which isn’t good for your psyche.  I always have a few fat day outfits that are comfortable and flattering.  Looking nice in a comfy outfit can really boost your fat day self esteem.  One of my favorite outfits is black linen pants, a black tank top, and black & white stripped loose cardigan because black is always slimming and incredibly chic.

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4.  Go for a long walk: I am a huge fan of walking.  You get the same endorphins without the dreaded elliptical or treadmill.  Plus if you walk outside you get a good dose of Vitamin D and you can explore your hometown.  For example, I’m discovering beautiful new neighborhoods of DC so it’s like I’m going on a mini adventure instead of exercising.  Plus you can always “disguise” yourself if you’re not feeling too comfortable in your skin.

Don’t tell anyone it’s me: I’m having a fat day!

5. Play your favorite song and dance: I love blasting my favorite song (right now I’m rocking to Sugarland’s “Stuck Like Glue”.  Seriously you can’t listen to that song without smiling).  Dancing helps you connect with your body and realize that you didn’t gain ten pounds in 24 hours.  Plus if you’re alone in your apartment, no one can laugh at your less than stellar dance moves!

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 6. Meditate: Okay, meditation is tricky-shutting off your mind seems impossible.  But if you can stop your fat thoughts and focus on your breathing, you will feel much better.  Try closing your eyes and focus on breathing out your negative thoughts and breathing in positive energy.  I’m not always 100% successful with meditation but when I’m able to stop the racing fat thoughts, I feel much better and prepared to handle future fat days.

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Fat days are “terrible, horrible,  no good, very bad days” (reference) where everything seems to revolve around your weight.  But fat days are just a feeling, just a mental pre-occupation of blaming all your problems on your weight.  You can either succumb to the negativity or you can fight the fat feeling and have a positive day.  You won’t always win the battle but you’ll feel much for trying as opposed to just indulging your fat feelings.  Remember fat days are temporary and tomorrow is another day, another chance for a happier day.  Even if you feel like a fat, unlovable person, you deserve happiness, kindness, respect, and love.  So treat yourself right and remember it’s all in your head!

Posted in Musing | 9 Comments »

May 1, 2012

Happy May Day!

I’ve been falling into a lovely pattern of a good day followed by a bad day.  I’ve been going for long walks and return home feeling peaceful and happy.  But there are days when I’m too exhausted, I make poor decisions, and spend the day feeling sorry for myself…today was one of my bad days.

So when I discovered Photo A Day May via Matt’s The Athlete’s Plate, I was thrilled to discover the word for today is peace.  Ah, how I crave peace.  I don’t crave happiness or joy but peace.  I appreciate the stability of peace, the calm that peace brings me.  I’m not an overly emotional person, even though lately I’ve been more depressed and sad.  All I want is peace: those quiet moments of silence when my thoughts aren’t racing and I’m berating myself for being _____________ (insert adjective of choice: pathetic, sad, fat, etc).  So the minute I saw that word, I went to the first place that brings me peace: my bed.

Of course my cat had to be involved, he’s obsessed with my bed especially if I’m trying to sleep.

Frankly I can crawl into my bed, have a little cry, and forget the world.  In my bed, I’m safe and able to lose myself.  I can finally find the peace that I so desperately crave.  I think it’s important for us to have spaces or items that bring us peace.  For me, it’s my bed.  Maybe when I’m feeling overwhelmed or sad or anxious, I can imagine my bed and go to my “peaceful” place.

Where do you find peace?  Do you ever imagine your peaceful place when you are feeling stressed?

Posted in Musing | 4 Comments »

April 27, 2012

This Girl Was Made For Walking

As much as I believe that baking is theraputic, it’s got nothing on walking through Washington DC on a beautiful day.  I live in Arlington (about a mile away from Georgetown-a DC neighborhood) and I often walk into the city via the Key Bridge.  Georgetown is filled with shops, college students, and beautiful homes so I’m always visually entertained when I’m walking.  And since I always take my iphone with me, I decided to document my walk via Instagram.

First, I always walk (or when I’m inclined, run) incognito which means I’m always sporting a baseball cap and huge sunglasses.

Shhh, I don’t want the paparazzi stalking me while I’m trying to walk.

The Key Bridge crosses over the Potomac River and it’s quite beautiful when you look north (it looks like you are in the middle of nowhere):

Looking South, you’ll see part of the DC skyline including the Washington Monument:

I was really trying hard not to be a super creepy while taking pictures.  There were a ton of people outside and I didn’t want to be the weird girl taking pictures so I snapped some when there weren’t lots of people around me.

I love the white picket fence in the middle of DC!

I’ve always wanted a home with a tower.

That would be a buffalo.  There was another one on the other side of the road.

I ended up getting distracted with phone calls, iced coffee, and shopping (I only bought a clutch) so I didn’t take anymore pictures but I still had a pretty decent walk:

Personally I’d rather walk for an hour or two as opposed to spending 45 minutes on the elliptical.  I love spending time outdoors and getting my daily dose of vitamin D.  I plan on walking pretty much everyday it’s not raining though I’m going to need a new pair of sneakers because I have a blister the size of my palm on my heel.  Now I’m off to get ready to go see 1776 (the musical) at Ford’ Theater tonight with my family.   Have a wonderful Friday!!

Do you like walking?  Or would you prefer to just hit the gym and get out quick?

Posted in Musing, Workout | 6 Comments »

April 26, 2012

A Blonde Makes Blondies

I occasionally go through baking phases.   There is nothing more thrilling than slipping into one of my numerous aprons and concocting a sweet treat to tempt my friends, family, and co-workers.  Feeding someone, especially something sweet, is just another expression of care and love.  I know food is just supposed to be fuel but I believe food is a spiritual experience.  We eat with all our senses: the taste of the flavors, the smell of the final product, the sight of a beautifully plated meal, the touch of the food crossing your lips, and hearing the sound of people oooohing and ahhhhing.  I plan on hearing plenty of oohs and ahs tomorrow.

Plus one of the best things about baking is the chance to lose yourself in your thoughts.  For example, I started thinking about chocolate chips.  Who invented the chocolate chip?  And how did he or she discover it?

And all those silly jokes about dumb blondes…blondies are the smarter dessert.  You can make brownies from a box but blondies often involve more labor.  You have to be smarter to make a blondie from scratch as opposed to making a boxed brownie (don’t get me wrong, I love box mix but making a dessert from scratch is much more satisfying).

You actually have to melt the butter and sugar.

Trust me, the extra effort is worth the final product.  Frankly, I think  any dessert involving peanut butter, brown sugar, and chocolate chips (recipe) is a winner in my book.  And there are only a thousand other recipes I want to make from “two peas & their pod“.

With an overwhelming urge to be creative, I also channeled another one of my favorite blondes: Martha Stewart.  Instead of cramming the blondies into a plastic bag, I wrapped each blondie individually with a ribbon bow.  A craft a day keeps the doctor away.

I needed the quiet moments while baking to get lost in my head. Beyond thinking about the invention of chocolate chips, I managed to shut down the negative thoughts that always seem to threaten my tranquility.  I probably should be working on eliminating my emotional connection to food but I think part of reducing my need to binge is to recognize and to understand the importance of food.  Food isn’t just fuel; it’s nourishment and comfort and laughter and happiness.  Trust me, if you make these blondies, you’ll really understand.

Posted in Musing, recipe review | 4 Comments »

April 24, 2012

Busy ‘Lil Bee

I’ve been such a busy little bee over the past couple of days.  I’ve been trying to keep myself busy so I don’t fall onto my couch watching random television while stuffing my face with whatever I can find in the kitchen…

Fortunately I managed to find several activities that kept me off the couch for a good portion of the weekend.  I did some art journaling with one of my best friends:

I also created a “Let it go” box where I can write down things that I need to let go and place that paper in the box.  I’ve always found it difficult to let something go.  I mean, how do you do it?  So I figured that if I had a physical act of letting something go (even if it’s just a piece of paper), I might be able to let some of my issues go.  Plus the box looks super pretty:

And of course I went shopping.  You never have a fat day when you’re shoe shopping.  Especially if you find Seychelles wedges at Ross for only $17.99:

My mother and I discovered an adorable home goods store in Shirlington called Le Village Marché (the village market).  My mother and I are huge francophiles and nous aimons tous les choses françaises (we love all things French).  My second major is actually in French (though my speaking skills have greatly depreciated over the past couple of years).  After spending years and years smelling handmade soap and admiring the beautiful decor, I decided I had to purchase this adorable cheese plate set:

 

I seriously need to host a dinner party soon just so I can use these plates!

I finally had my first appointment with my new psychologist.  She’s part of a group that specializes in eating disorders and I was actually on a wait list to get to see her.  After my first session with her, I am super excited because I think that she has a brillant therapy method.  She uses the ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) method which basically teaches the patient accept things in her life that she has no control over and makes commitments to change the things that she has control over.  I even have homework that uses this workbook.  I managed to schedule my appointments right before a yoga class at my favorite studio.  Therapy then yoga…sounds like a fantastic evening!

I’m still feeling quasi antsy and unhappy with different aspects of my life (mainly my weight) but I’m feeling much more optimistic now as I continue to expand my coping mechanisms and implement a new treatment plan.  Plus my psychologist confirmed exactly what I had been thinking over the past couple of months when she told me “You know Sarah.  You can do Weight Watchers, you can starve yourself, you can overexercise.  But you are never going to lose the weight until you stop hating yourself“.  Maybe instead of beating my body into submission, I can start loving who I am without any regards to my physical appearance.

Posted in crafting, Musing | 5 Comments »

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